Let me start by saying that it is possible to overcome premature ejaculation.
Tantrics have been doing it for centuries and many people I know, personally, have done it. I have done it too.
After 15 years of marriage filled with ups and downs related to premature ejaculation (PE) problems, I’ve learned quite a bit about how to last longer in bed. Through lots of research, trial and error, and discipline, I’ve successfully been able to heal my marriage.
And my sex life too.
I know that it is possible to overcome premature ejaculation because I’ve done it.
Don’t worry, though.
In this article, I share the most important information and most effective tools you can use to last much longer in bed. Using the methods that I describe, you will more easily be able to overcome premature ejaculation or simply last longer in bed.
I’ll also break down the different risk factors that can lead to premature ejaculation so that you can help prevent it from happening to begin with.
By the end, you’ll be equipped to last longer in bed, naturally.
What is Premature Ejaculation?
There are many ways to define premature ejaculation but the term generally refers to ejaculation within 3 minutes of beginning penetrative sexual intercourse.
While there is nothing technically wrong with premature ejaculation, it can diminish the pleasurable experience that sex would otherwise offer both partners.
Because women take twice as long to reach climax during sex.
In the classic sex studies conducted by Masters and Johnson in the 1960s, it was found that the average man is able to reach orgasm in about four minutes, whereas most women need ten to twenty minutes to finish. Though women do not necessarily reach orgasm through penetrative sex, alone, many require a lot of time to ‘warm up’, making it a worthwhile goal to last longer in bed.
And if you really want to deepen your sexual experience, such as in sexual Tantra, then a sexual act may last from 40 minutes to several hours.
In fact, many of the principles and technique used in Tantric yoga are outlined in this article.
How Common Is Premature Ejaculation?
According to a research from National Institute of Health, premature ejaculation is a common sexual dysfunction that affects 20 to 30 percent of men worldwide.
It is most common in young men who are fairly new in their sexual experience, though it can happen to many men at any point in their lives.
Causes for Premature Ejaculation
There are many possible causes for PE problems, with each affecting people differently. If you’re experiencing premature ejaculation, then it may take some time and investigation before you can identify the actual cause.
What’s worse is that it could be a combination of several different causes, making it more difficult to fully understand how to treat it.
The best place to begin is to look into the possible causes so that you can test solution.
Though there are many potential causes for PE, they all can generally be categorized into two groups:
- Performance anxiety – When a man worries about coming too early during sex, it can often, by itself, have a psychological effect that leads to PE.
- Overexcitement – This is especially relevant during first encounters.
- Watching porn – This habit aids to overexcitement during the sexual act and brings men closer and faster to ejaculation right from the start.
- Stress – Stress triggers the fight-or-flight response in the body, which can accidentally lead to premature ejaculation.
- Depression – Mood disorders, such as depression, often have unpredictable effects on sexual performance.
- Conditioning of mind from rushed masturbation in childhood – This can come from being conditioned to finish quickly or to fear being caught.
- Deep and hidden resentment to sex coming from family or society – Many cultures, religions, and societies impose shameful views on sexuality, leading to many sexual problems in adulthood, such as premature ejaculation.
- Erectile Dysfunction – Erectile dysfunction is the inability to get or hold an erection. Treating Erectile dysfunction can help alleviate PE, according to medical journal WebMD
- BC or PC Muscles – Permanent clenching of the bulbocavernosus muscle (BC muscle) and/or the pubococcygeus muscle (PC muscle) and/or the muscles of the buttox during intercourse.
- High sensitivity of glans – Some men are extremely sensitive in the glans area, leading to early ejaculation.
- Physical conditioning – Conditioning of the mind from childhood experiences, such as rushed masturbation described above.
Methods to treat Premature Ejaculation
There are several methods to treat PE. While one method might work well for someone, it may not necessarily work well for you.
After all, your cause and treatment will be totally dependent on you and your experience.
You can try and see what works best for you, though it is advisable to combine two or three methods to get best results.
Some of the most commonly recommended treatment methods are outlined below.
Traditional Natural Medicinal Remedies
Nature is a powerful healer and can certainly be used to help curb premature ejaculation.
That being said, I have only found one to be particularly effective in helping me last longer in bed. Otherwise, oral remedies from traditional medicines such as Ayurveda, Chinese, Thai or Indonesian medicine mostly increase libido but do very little in helping men lasting longer in bed.
The most effective natural remedies that I found were used topically, though they were very different.
The first natural remedy is called Jamaican Stone.
Right away, I need to make it clear that I do not recommend this product. It has been found to contain poisonous elements that aren’t healthy for you or your genitals. Not only that, but also Jamaican Stone works through a numbing mechanism, which reduces sensitivity.
While I understand that reducing sensations can delay ejaculation, I would rather use other methods available that allow me to feel the sexual experience.
Desensitization removes you from intercourse and goes against the whole idea of enjoying lovemaking, in my opinion.
The second natural remedy I found is Uncaria.
It is a traditional herb from the northern part of India and was the safest and most effective product that I tried.
Men local to where the herb was originally grown have been using an extract of the herb as a natural remedy to last longer in bed. It is sold over the streets and in local traditional medicine pharmacies as a remedy against premature ejaculation.
According to modern studies, though, this herb has many other benefits outside of sexual performance.
Most notably, it is high in antioxidants and, as such, is often recommended for oral health protection. Additionally, Uncaria has been used for the treatment of diarrhea and dysentery, as well as an astringent medicine.
It is also used in mixed medications for ailments, such as burns, headaches, dysentery, gargles, canker sores, sore skin, and poor digestion in the stomach and intestines. Yet another study showed that Uncaria is effective in treating the joint disease Osteoarthritis.
Needless to say, this herb is safe for the body and can perhaps even heal it.
When it comes to helping men last longer in bed, it is equally impressive.
The astringent qualities that it is most known and studied for are exactly what delay ejaculation. When applied topically, it causes a tingling sensation that effectively reduces stimulation without causing numbness.
In short, it is the perfect solution to premature ejaculation.
Desensitising Sprays Or Creams
As the name suggests, these are the pharma solutions that work by numbing sensitivity. These products often contain lidocaine, which is medication used as a local anesthetic to numb the area where it is applied to.
While a lidocaine-based spray indeed works in delaying ejaculation, it does so by significantly reducing sensitivity and, as a result, pleasure.
Not only that, but the lidocaine can (and will) rub off onto your partner, leading to reduced pleasure in your partner too.
The worst part?
There are so many lidocaine-based creams currently on the market, many of them coming from popular brand names such as KY Duration, Promescent, Dynamo Delay and many others.
While there is no harm in using a local anesthetic during sex to last longer, it is not a pleasurable experience.
And what is sex if it’s not pleasurable?
Numbing condoms work in the same way as desensitising sprays and creams. These types of condoms contain some lidocaine in them. Durex Performax and Trojan Extended are considered to be good options and their effect can be quite strong due to tight contact of skin with condom.
While this is certainly an option, it significantly reduces pleasurable sensations, which is a major part of an enjoyable sexual experience.
Medications and Premature Ejaculation Pills
There are several commonly prescribed medications that many men use to treat premature ejaculation. Though they may successfully delay ejaculation, it is at the high price of manipulating chemical balance.
Certain antidepressants are secondarily used to treat PE, one such drug being Dapoxetine, commonly branded as Priligy. It is a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI), which can delay ejaculation by a few minutes.
Though SSRIs have been found to effectively prolong sexual intercourse, there are many drawbacks to taking it.
Firstly, Dapoxetine should be taken 1-3 hours before the intercourse. This can make it difficult to use in the moment or for long-term use.
Not only that, but there are many other reported side effects from this drug such as nausea, dizziness, and headache.
Lastly, the FDA has not even approved Dapoxetine for PE yet as Phase III studies continue.
Viagra And Other Drugs Treating Erectile Dysfunction
Unlike the antidepressants described above, some prescription pills were designed specifically to cause a long-lasting erection. They are typically prescribed to those suffering from erectile dysfunction, which relates to the inability to get or maintain erection.
The most popular drug of this kind is Viagra, generic name Sildenafil. Other common brands of this type of drug are Cialis (tadalafil) and Levitra (vardenafil).
This type of drug works by sending extra blood to the penis, which is effectively what an erection is.
The extra blood flow can lead to a delayed erection. In the event that ejaculation occurs faster than you’d like, though, the refractory period in between orgasm and erection is much shorter than normal.
So you can get back to sexual intercourse right away.
But this comes with a price. There are a number of possible side effects, such as a heart attack. It can also cause a headache or dizziness, which is incredibly uncomfortable during intercourse or otherwise.
Behavioral Therapy or Talk Therapy
Though premature ejaculation can happen to anyone, it is commonly linked to psychological issues.
Some of these issues can be as simple as stress or as serious as past trauma. Whatever the case may be, it is super helpful to be able to work with a professional in addressing any issues.
Therapy can help you work through relational problems that may interfere with sexual performance, societal taboos that may cause shame during sex, past trauma that may impact sexual perform, and mood disorders such as anxiety or depression.
It can also teach you different tips and tricks for prolonging intercourse that maybe you didn’t already know.
The biggest benefit with talk therapy as a treatment method for premature ejaculation is that it can help you on a holistic level, as well.
Training Exercises To Permanently Overcome Premature Ejaculation
There are several training techniques that greatly improve the ability to last longer in bed. With persistence and commitment, you can use all of these techniques together to permanently overcome premature ejaculation.
The best part?
They’re easy to do and you can start doing them today.
The best and easiest technique used to extend lovemaking and delay ejaculation is using your breath.
Even so, it still requires a bit of concentration as it is easy to be carried away by passion during sex and forget about correct breathing.
The correct breathing method is to breathe calmly and deeply. Oftentimes, men do quite the opposite during sex and that activates the sympathetic nervous system, which puts us into fight or flight mode. This ultimately leads to premature ejaculation.
What we want is to activate the parasympathetic nervous, which makes us more relaxed and last longer.
So how do you activate the sympathetic nervous with the breath?
As you inhale, slowly count to four, filling the lungs completely. On the exhale, slowly let out the air as you again count to four.
That is it.
It is a very simple and very effective tool that you can add to your list of remedies against PE.
Toning Muscles Of Perineum Though Kegel Exercises
It is important to have strong and healthy muscles of perineum for sex in general and especially if you want to take control over premature ejacultion.
The best way to do that is with Kegel exercises.
So how do they work?
Well, strong pelvic muscles improve the quality of an erection, which helps to last longer. Conversely, toned perineum muscles allow your muscles to be more relaxed during sexual intercourse, which also helps you last longer in bed.
In fact, regularly practicing Kegel exercises has been found to increase duration of sex by two to four minutes in men who practice for three months.
As you can imagine, this is a super popular treatment method.
To do the Kegel exercises from home, you first need to find the right muscle. The pubococcygeus muscle, or PC muscle, is the target of this exercise and is used when you urinate.
If you’re not sure exactly where that might be, try stopping your urine flow the next time you use the restroom and you will be using your PC muscle.
Now that you isolated these muscles, start practicing squeezing the muscle intermittently. There are many ways to practice, but you can generally follow this guideline:
- 10-20 quick squeezes and
- 10-20 long squeezes. Here you squeeze, count to 5 and slowly release.
With time, you can increase the number of squeezes per round and ultimately strengthen the muscle group enough to delay ejaculation.
But, uh, a word of caution?
Don’t overtrain your muscles as they can easily become sore. But if this happens, just stop practice for a couple days and pick it back up again. It’s just like any other exercise and you still need rest days.
Another big tool in the arsenal against PE is a technique called ‘edging’. The essence of this exercise is to develop awareness of the level of your arousal and not to go beyond a certain level while you are masturbating, commonly referred to as the Point of No Return, or PNR.
By purposefully delaying ejaculation, you are training your body to withstand the temptation of reaching orgasm so that you can do the same during intercourse.
So how do you do this?
First, scale your arousal intensity from zero, which is for no arousal at all, to 10, or ejaculation. For this exercise, take your PNR to somewhere around eight or nine.
Over time, you will be able to firmly set this scale from 0 to 10 and identity at which point you reach the PNR. Don’t worry, you will learn this through repetitive practice.
It is recommended to practice edging during masturbation for at least 10 minutes a day. While practicing, as soon as you approach PNR, stop stimulating your penis. Wait until arousal drops to about a 5-6 and then continue again. To get better results, you can increase your practice time to 15 and even 20 minutes a day.
This practice has direct effect on deconditioning your body and mind of coming too fast. Plus, you can do it from home pretty easily.
Learning Tantra and Tantric Sex
Despite common misunderstandings about Tantra, the sexual facet of the teachings constitutes less than five percent of the whole Tantric philosophy.
And to be clear: Tantric sex is not some sort of kinky sex that is done for hours.
Rather, the Tantrics approach to sex is as a divine tool for reaching higher states of consciousness. And to do that, the sexual act must last long enough to help make that happen.
Tantrics work with directing energies through the body, which can be done in a way to prolong intercourse. Many of their techniques include edging and breathing exercises.
If one is called to learn more about Tantra and Tantric sexuality, it is best to find a proper guru or a school. This topic is too big to be described here but it is certainly relevant.
The information presented in this article is a result of years of my personal research and experiments. It gives you a complete set of basic tools to last longer in bed.
I hope that by now you can see that it is possible to overcome PE. All you need is to put the effort into your practice. I can tell you that once you reduce or completely get away from this awful problem of PE, your life will start to change.
Your relationships will be more harmonious.
Your partner will be happier and more fulfilled.
Your perception of yourself will be more confident.
And of course you will enjoy sex much more.
Finally, if you want to get the fastest results then combine Alpha-Herb (Uncaria) with a few training exercises (breathing, Kegel, edging). While Alpha-Herb does the work on the frontend, so to speak, the training exercises will do the work on the backend.
Start lasting longer, today.